Unfinished Business

I am awash in uncompleted projects, unfinished tasks and unresolved ideas. My bulletin boards are layered in sketches and design notes. Although the computer looks benign in fact it is the digital equivalent of an OCD recluse's home overflowing with scraps of paper dating back 30 years. My studio closet is vomiting its load of supplies and fabrics into the room. All available surfaces have been employed to hold half finished projects. OK I exaggerate slightly but only slightly. The feng shui around these parts isn't very good.

I could look at this as the physical manifestation of a mind that doesn't quite know what it wants to do next... so many bright and shiny objects...and that would be a version of the truth. I do want to do it all and I haven't wanted to settle down or make any firm decisions.

Lately I feel smothered by it all ... this I think is a signal that I am entering a new stage in my artistic recovery. I grow weary of all this dithering and crave some closure, a firm direction to follow.

It has only been recently that I have felt confident enough to refer to my artists block in the past tense. This little milestone crept into my life without my notice. These days the ideas come fast and furious and I often catch hold of one or two and do something with them. Sometimes it develops sometimes it don't but the "don'ts" don't keep me from trying again.

For a long period of time I could function well in a class but I was unable to set my own goals. I honestly didn't have a clue what I wanted to do, I needed someone else to set assignments for me or I just didn't function. It got so bad at one point that I noticed I had even stopped doodling I was so afraid I'd get it wrong somehow.

I finally committed to going back to school at night for computer skills. Enrolled in a Visual Communications program I did well but once again when the classes ended I floundered unsure of my direction. Completing a full course of study did give me some confidence though because this time I resolved to put my efforts into figuring out what I wanted to do with the old creative impulse. I've spent some years now relearning how to play, how to value what I can do, and how to start connecting with others in the great big world. I've also developed some trust in my ability to nurture my artistic self. I am by no means done. I figure I am functioning at about 15% of my potential*

So I'm looking at this mess with new eyes. It is there to help me sort out the question"what do you want to do?" I have an inkling and as I sort physically I will sort mentally and see what I find when I'm done

* estimate based upon number of hours spent killing brain cells with video games and TV

Cyber Fyber Trade

While away I got a chance to do some stitching. This is my first fabric postcard trade. I was invited by Susan Lenz to participate in Cyber Fyber and I leapt at the chance, after all could it be anymore convenient? I had an entire week at my leisure to play and somewhere for it to go when it was finished. All too often my completed projects go into the closet because there is nowhere to display them.
I decided to bring a small project pack of embroidery floss, metallic thread, woven fabric scraps and some little bits of heat set poly that I made when I tested the method (too cool to toss but just gathering dust in the closet, it was time they found a home).
I appliqued the little freeform makiage bits to the woven fabric then went back in with metallic thread couched with floss, to emphasize the forms set into the fabric with the heat setting. I also added some stitching to bring the two textures (woven, shiny) together a bit more. The result is reminiscent of flowers or coral or sea creatures of some sort.
I find three things about this kind of interesting
The first is that I’m using metallics and liking it, I’m not generally much of a bling person (more like hemp) but I’m really liking that pop of glisten with the gloss of the fabrics, and I am a texture person in a big way… The second thing I noticed is that some of the embellishment stitching’s texture is reminding me of Van Gough’s brush strokes The third came to me in the mail. Susan sent along a postcard with her fabric trade, I just started to laugh when I saw the similarity of the circular motif between our work!
I will post mine tomorrow. This was fun, I think I will look for some more trades to do, anyone know of any?

Vacation Booty

Our vacation went wonderfully, very indulgent to say the least. This is our second trip to Provincetown. Its perfect for a low key family getaway for us because it only requires 3 hours total travel time and we can bring the dog. We managed to fit in the perfect balance of activity and inactivity. We have a sort of system:
Get up, bring the dog to daycare, and pick up coffee
Spend the morning in some sort of family activity
Eat a big lunch
Split up for individual activity or siesta time
Pick up the dog and a light dinner
Relax as a family at the motel or the beach
Our first two days were very hot so we did some ocean related stuff. On one we went ocean kayaking on the bay and the on the other we went on a whale watch. I haven’t been on a whale watch since I was a kid so that was a real treat.

We saw 25 whales! Including one that was breaching (jumping right out of the water), as per usual my whale watch pictures convey nearly none of the excitement of seeing those huge creatures up close and personal. Rats. Another water related activity is bringing the dog to the beach after hours for a swim, she is nuts for the ocean.

We spent the next 2 cooler days doing some sightseeing and shopping in town. The motel we stay at is only 4 miles from town so we rode our bikes in for that making lunch a bit more guilt free. We even climbed the tower!
I got to do my morning pages, read and do some stitching on a porch with a view of the bay each day too.
Its fun to take this kind of a break, I don’t get much vacation time (14 days total for vacation and sick days after 20+ years… it just isn’t right), my family lives all over the country so a great deal of the time I do get is for visiting which is wonderful but different. I truly want to do some traveling but I have never managed to make it a priority in my life and somehow I am determined to change this dynamic…
Not quite sure how I will but there are a number of things about how I spend my days that I really want to change. I deeply desire more unconstructed time in my life to be used in accordance with my own personal priorities, too much of my time seems to be at someone else’s beck and call. The vacation gave me a taste of what I desire for myself now I just have to figure out how to manifest it.

What to Bring

Yay! Vacation!

I'm off for a week by the sea. Just in time for the first heat wave of the year, perfect timing. Here is the entertainment pack of pure indulgence I will be bringing along in no particular order

1. scetch book, pencils sharpening tools and eraser

2. journal and nice pen for morning pages

3. 4 count em 4 art related magazines to mull over

4. One silly book of pure vampire/witch related fun

5. assorted bits of shibori, floss, fabric, thread, beads and tools all packed into a gorgeous kimono fabric bag

6. the camera which is taking the picture

7. all the clothes, swimsuits ect

8. the dog and all of her assorted paraphenalia (she doesn't pack light!)

9. bikes

10. snacks

that should do it!

A Final Attempt

I've been messing about with more attempts to reproduce the shibori sample, most were failures for one reason or another. I decided to make one more try. It seemed to me that I had the dynamic correct but I wasn't able to get the fabric to move up and down smoothly. I decided to add some assisting stitches that would help to pull the fabric into place. Its really hard to see in the photo so I will attempt to describe it. I started with the same basic stitch pattern as version 2, except that all the "up" rows were set up to pull to the right and all the "down" row to the left. Going in opposite directions helped to keep all the bits of thread organized. For each row of stitching I then added another thread that caught the very tops of the "up" pleats on one side of the fabric and a thread that caught the very bottom of the "down" pleats on the opposite side.The purpose was to give me somthing to pull the fabric with to pop the pleats up and down with. Here is a diagram

Once again I think the theory is right but I'm not quite getting the practice to work, here is the final result. Over at the flicker pool we are thinking that it may be a form of woven shibori which would make perfect sense and would probably be a more effective way to do what I am trying to achieve with the assist threads. Someday maybe I will get a chance to try some woven shibori!

Frequencies 2

Way back when I posted on a little experiment I tried using the heat set shibori. I really liked certain aspects of the first piece and it suggested a number of other things for me to try. I enjoyed the vibrational quality of this particular poly, it is woven with different colored warp and weft so the color shifts as the fabric moves through space. This reacts really nicely with the texture of the shibori. My first piece was somewhat monotone so for this try I decided to introduce some more color and a greater range of values. I liked the metallic thread in the first one so I kept that but I couched it down with some colored floss and each of the TV motifs are surrounded with a colored border. i definitely feel that the introduction of the colors is an improvement. Inside each little screen motif there is a picture obscured by cheesecloth and metallic stitching, Trying to emphasize the TV aspects....

less satisfied with this part and I probably will modify that in the next attempt. I love to work in a series because I can slowly explore all of the ideas I get as I work. Each attempt brings forth new ideas for refinements and allows the idea to develop without pressure to be perfect. I only wish I could work faster.

This has been a challenging month I seem to be short on time and drowning in commitments. I have decided to try to finish all of the projects I have started before beginning anything new... I wonder if I can stick to that. I have also fallen out of the habit of doing my morning pages and I've been noticing a drop in productivity so I am recommitting to that discipline and I think it will correct itself. It does feel good to finish something!

Beginning a Garden

I've officially started to work on the bird garden! (it isn't official until I've gotten totally dirty). Last year we put in a front walk to our door which was a very big project and very satisfying. When we did it was decided to create a garden that surrounded it since the front lawn in that area wasn't really coming in even after 6 years of loving care by lawn guy.

I love to feed the birds but having feeders on the porch leads to much seed and poop so we decided to create a garden with feeding stations throughout it and beds with shruby bits for birds to hang out in while digesting their dinners.

Two weeks ago I bought the posts and some little shrubs, then life got busy and there they sat waiting. This weekend we had some surprisingly nice weather so I got my butt in gear and started to dig. I got the posts set and all of the shrubs in and even started to get the beds dug. This is going to be one of those projects that goes on and on. We have very poor soil so if I want even a modest amount of success with my plants I have to amend it heavily. Each bed must be dug out, all rocks removed (many many rocks), then all of the soil must be mixed with some organic matter (compost and peatmoss usually), replaced, then mulched so it doesn't immediately sprout a crop of weeds. I generally pull out at least one rock the size of my torso per bed dug along with all of its cousins (8 to 12 rocks the size of my head) and three 5 gal buckets full of podadahs* (little rocks the size of my fist)

Its gonna be quite a long summer. I love the idea though and I really think it will look nice when its finished, so from time to time I wil be posting on how it is coming along.

*Rhode Island pronunciation of potatos