Sunday, September 22, 2013

Experiencing Failure

I'm listening to Lucinda Williams while I write, it seems appropriate.
Earlier this week I read Lisa Call's post on Failure.
Its about her experience with that time between
deciding to learn from my failure
doing something else

that sticky little"and" where its so much easier to avoid acting and just find something else to do
(TV, cleaning, puzzles etc)

It was very honest, to hear it spoken about out loud like that.

When I experience that stuck place, which is far more often than I would like, I have an impulse to keep quiet about it. I'm really not sure why I think its better not to speak of it, but there it is.
After it has eased, and I have moved into the "doing something else" phase I can look at it with a little more objectivity.
Last spring I was going strong on the stones. trying new things, playing with ideas even sharing it on Facebook.
Then I got stuck
I lost the thread when I realized that they were incomplete, they needed homes.
I didn't really know what the homes would look like, I got slammed with a bunch of ideas at once
I got overwhelmed, ashamed, vulnerable and hesitant.
I failed to act, and it lasted all summer*
I'm not sure if I did anything in particular to change it but as it becomes fall it has eased off
I've made a couple of decisions, and invested some brainpower and cash.
I think I may be ready to start again.
I expect many misadventures.

*Netflix is a strong sedative

1 comment:

neki desu said...

thanks for the link to lisa's post.i think we should address failure because after all we aren't perfect,that is one big myth invented to keep us in line.
no big deal, sometimes it works sometime it doesn't. what goes on afterwards is in the realm of learning.
i have no netflix, i do google maps instead :D
thnx for your visit to my're right, sprinklers and light flares during my morning walk have become a theme.