Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Awareness

I have been thinking really hard about what my word of the year is going to be this time around.
For those of you who are unfamiliar with the single word approach to New Years Resolutions check out Christine Kane's post on the subject.
Instead of going by the calender New Year I've chosen my birthday (yesterday) as the starting point.
After much consideration I chose the word Awareness.
I like it for a few reasons,
It is neutral there is no judgement in it
It is applicable to all areas of my life (relationships, emotional, intellectual/art, physical, etc)
It is key to working out one of my psychological kinks
I am a person who is very good at finding ways to distract myself from any discomfort I feel especially emotional discomfort.
So good in fact that I lose track of myself and wander off.
Sometimes I can lose myself for weeks at a time. (see last month)
I'm essentially a functioning adult but this tendency to look for the escape hatch is problematic.
There is discomfort in growth, having a default position that avoids it leads to stagnation and eventually to contraction.
The end result is a muted life, one that doesn't reach as far as it could and makes me feel frustrated with myself (more discomfort... guess where that leads?)
But back to my word...
The very first step to correcting this problem is to be aware of it.
Aware of the discomfort
Aware of my reaction to it
Aware of other possibilities

A good place to start

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