Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Threadbare




So many short posts lately


I am still wrestling with blocked "art" eries, some days are better and I do have some clues as to how to take better care of my artist self but they are weirdly difficult to institute with any consistency.


I know for example that diving into my e-mail first rather than a project I would like to work on is a recipe for getting little to nothing done, same for the internet, or TV. (You would not believe how hard this is some days!)


I know in order for this to get better I am going to have to let go of some hopes and dreams (maybe fantasies is a better word) that I have clung to for many years, so many that they are threadbare now and have lost their power to insulate me from the cold hard realities that my life is never going to be quite what I had hoped it would be. (I'm not saying its a bad life at all... just that I have disappointed myself in some ways)


I know that referring to myself as "blocked" is a bad idea too...


I am still keeping the kaizen stance though, very small steps as I work through this...


Kaizen is like erosion, tiny drops of water slowly loosen the stones of a mountain. It may take some time but eventually grit washes away, then gravel, then small stones, and sooner or later a large shift will occur that moves the mountain to a new state of being.


I just hope I can last that long, patience is not my strong suit.


I cleaned up a little of my studio this weekend and found an old experiment I did with lace paper and itajime. I like it better now than I did when I made it. It wasn't what I planned it to be but the value of it is there. Something to keep in mind as I try on some new identities.

2 comments:

Elizabeth B said...

Thanks for the explanation of kaizen -- it makes perfect sense, and I identify with it strongly. Unfortunately, I also hear you loudly when you talk about the diversionary nature of email, internet, tv. I have the same problem (so why am I reading blogs tonight? hmmm...). Anyway, just wanted to say I enjoy your blog, and am very happy the pup is doing better.

alsokaizen said...

Thanks so much Elizabeth!
yeh the internet make a wonderful servant but a terrible master doesn't it? (and yup here I am again) :) its hard to remember to place our own stuff first but if you don't its so easy to get swallowed alive by the web.